11. What Happens In Mexico

“Where have you been for the past three days? We’ve been worried sick? Hey I’m talking you, answer me!!!” Jamie, who was sitting with Ally and James on Ally’s bed, shouted when I entered my room.

I took off my sunglasses slowly and stared at them before ignoring them. Hangover was a bitch!

“What happened to you?” Ally asked.

“I was in Mexico.” I whispered.

“Mexico?”

“I needed to get away, just for a while.”

“You partied hard without us? I’m hurt.” Jamie said.

“This isn’t about you Jamie, it’s about me. I just needed a little me time.”

“So you were alone?”

“No, I was with Leon, Jeremy’s cousin. We were both going through break ups.”

“You weren’t going through a break up. You have a boyfriend, his name is Aaron.”

I sighed. I had forgotten about him. I had left a message for Ally and Jamie letting them know I was going to be away for a few days but I hadn’t told Aaron anything, he must have been worried sick.

The banging in my head worsened, I just needed to lie down for a while. I made up my mind never to drink again, maybe, probably…probably not. “Just shut up, okay?”

“What happened to you?” Aaron asked when he saw me later that day.

“What? Do I look bad?”

“No, you look perfectly fine…Just different.” He said reaching in for a kiss “Where have you been?”

To lie or not to lie, “Nowhere, I was just a little sick and I didn’t want you to see me that way.” To lie.

“That’s why you wouldn’t pick up my calls?”

“I was embarrassed, forgive me?”

He looked me up and down and then smiled “You’re forgiven. Next time, when you’re sick, let me take care of you.”

“Fine.”

There was a moment of awkward silence, what was I supposed to say? What did girlfriends say to their boyfriends?

Aaron looked at me and smiled, he didn’t have anything to say either.

“Let’s have dinner tonight, I’ve missed you.”

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

As I prepared to go out for dinner, I looked at my reflection in my mirror; Aaron was right, I did look different.

My dirty blonde hair was now brunette, I had gotten a dye job in Mexico; I was thinner, I had lost a few pounds from all the drinking, not eating, not getting enough sleep and of course, the endless partying and now I had a tattoo on my ankle, it was an image of tinkerbell.

I looked at it, what the hell was I thinking?

As I applied my makeup, I thought about my time in Mexico. It had been…eventful.

It had started out fun and great and was everything I wanted it to be; then I went and messed it all up, I always mess everything up. I take after my mother that way.

“Mate,” a heard a voice behind me, it was Jamie. I hadn’t even heard her come in “You look amazing.” She said.

She looked at me up and down.

“Thank you.” I swallowed.

Jamie was my best friend, she was bound to figure out something was wrong with me sooner or later.

She sat on my bed and continued staring at me.

“What?!” I said furiously, turning to her.

“You know what.” She said coolly.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You did something wrong, that’s why you’re so irritable. You’re feeling guilty.”

I sighed. “Why am I so messed up?” I asked her.

“I think it has something to do with the way you were raised.”

“That’s not what you’re supposed to say, you’re supposed to say you’re not messed up, you’re just a little confused right now but not messed up.”

“I’m too lazy to lie to you right now. What’s wrong?”

“I just crave attention from guys, don’t I? I’m a slut; I’m a dirty, sly, little slut.”

Jamie smiled “I don’t disagree but I’m sure you’re just being hard on yourself, you’re probably blowing whatever it is out of proportion.”

“I don’t know why, Jamie…” I shook my head “It’s like I find it so implausible for a guy to like me that I just jump on whoever shows me the slightest affection--”

“You haven’t jumped on James.”

“This is no time for jokes, I did something very bad; very, very bad.” I waited for Jamie to finish rolling her eyes, in her mind I was just over exaggerating. Then I said “I slept with Leon.”

“Leon? Jeremy’s Cousin – Leon?”

I nodded.

“You’re in love with Jeremy, you’re dating Aaron but you slept with Leon. You’re right…You are a slut; you’re a dirty, sly, little slut.”